Buckwhip responsible for death of a child

BennyWhilst most people looked on in awe today at the sight of Benny Buckwhip sporting a brand new black beanie, one family is mourning the loss of a young child. Sergeant Frank Banks from the Auckland Central Police Station can confirm that Benny's bold new fashion statement has been the cause of a serious inner-city car crash which has resulted in a six-year old boy's death. "Upon seeing Benny walk out of the TAB the driver in question has become distracted and failed to stop at an intersection, which has resulted in a horrifying side-on collision and unfortunately the death of a child." Banks believes the cause of the crash was without doubt Benny's flamboyant sense of fashion, "What Benny must realise is that people don't really wear beanies that much anymore so when someone suddenly does [wear one] it can be quite surprising."

Whilst Benny is unsurprised his beanie caused a car crash and admits his new head-wear is "pretty sexy" he remains adamant he is unaware of any such car crash occurring. "I don't remember anything, people have told me I'm pretty stupid though; and I'm an alcoholic." Police are reluctant to pursue Benny in relation to the incident because its emotionally disturbing and horrific nature. "Death is such a hard thing to handle, especially the death of a child, and I don't want to be responsible for placing too much emotional hardship on our officers. We don't do that anymore and it just wouldn't be nice," Banks says. Whilst Benny has empathy for the boy's family he has no plans to stop wearing the beanie.

When questioned on how he acquired such a fashionable piece of head-wear, Benny remained coy, "can't really say" was his initial response. When further pressed he remained purposefully elusive, "I worked in the Corstorphine Freezing Works for ages and it kept my head warm. Really warm. Warmer than a hot gun on a cold night. Warmer than hell." Finally Benny admitted that he received the beanie as payment for his work work at Radio New Zealand on an upcoming radio documentary that follows the success of the Buckwhip's multi-platinum selling album Live at the Gold Guitars which is due to air in August 2009. Unfortunately for the swelling numbers of people now wanting to get their hands on a black Radio New Zealand beanie the news remains bad, "If you want one you have to work for Radio New Zealand, either that or by doing heaps of stuff for them that's really degrading."

The first episode of The Lonesome Buckwhips' radio show airs at 3pm Sunday August 2 on Radio New Zealand. The following episodes air over the month of August at 3pm on Sunday 16, 23, 30.

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