December

December

Time to harvest the Christmas corn! Like I have in the above photo. Although this one was from a dud crop that died. Still tastes delicious though. Christmas is a time for giving, so if a lot of your crops have died, like mine, then give them away to the homeless or some kind of organization that feeds people who don’t have the smarts to jump on the dirty old benefit like your good pal Benny. Be sure to keep the good stuff for yourself.

Now a lot of people like to get drunk during the holidays. Nice. Be careful if you’re inclined to jump behind the wheel when you’re drunk. Typically you can pack away five or six drinks before you’re over the limit - this is a fact the more responsible members of society tend to forget.

If you’re like me, you use the stars as a guide when to plant, when to harvest. This same method can be applied to drink-driving. If it’s a full moon typically you won’t get pulled up because the pigs will be too busy sorting out violent crimes. That’s a general rule of thumb, but there’s a lot more to it than that, there’s a whole science behind it. If you would like a copy of my book, The Stars: Their influence on Gardening and Drinking Booze, just send us an email. The current price is $24.95 plus shipping. Would make a mediocre Christmas gift for that someone in your life that you don’t like that much but are kind of obliged to give them a present.

Happy holidays!

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